Luck

How did I get so lucky?

This thought occured to me a few days ago as I was driving along listening to Isla chatting away to herself in her carseat.

I have a beautiful, happy, smiley baby who eats like a machine, sleeps all night and only really cries if she is hungry or lonely!

In that moment I felt like the luckiest Mummy in the world and wondered what Id done to deserve such an amazing baby.

And then I realised, I hadnt done anything, but I still deserved her.

I deserve her because of my two angels who look down on me everyday.
I deserve her because I waited 2 years instead of the usual 9 Months to hold her in my arms.
I deserve her because I have cried more tears than I thought was possible over broken dreams and shattered hopes.

Yet through  all the last 2 years has thrown at P and I and despite knowing I deserve this happiness I still feel incredibly lucky!

To have Isla, my daughter look at me with her huge blue eyes as if I am her whole world fills me with joy!
To be able to say I  have a daughter is mind blowing enough so to see her face light up in a big toothless smile when she recognises my face makes my heart nearly explode with happiness!
To be called Mummy is the most awesome name in the world and now its my name!
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So yes I do have two angels that I never got the chance to meet but without them I wouldnt have my Isla so I feel so very lucky and I wouldnt change a thing.
Somehow it feels like where I am right now, with Isla sat on my lap smiling at me every now and then and playing with my hands, this is where I was always meant to be.