I have found myself starting to worry these last few days, but not about what I would expect to be worried about.
There is no worrying for Squirt, not because I dont care (obviously I care about Squirt more than I care about myself) but mostly because I just have this feeling that he/she will be ok.
Strangely enough I dont have a feeling about whether Squirt is a boy or a girl like I did with Lumpy and Pup.
Mostly I feel Squirt could be a girl but then I find myself thinking about Squirt being a boy instead so at the moment Im not sure.
The worrying is about us moving house
We have had an offer accepted on a new house so it looks like we really are moving.
The enormity of it is hitting me now its real.
While I am pregnant and should be avoiding lifting things we have to pack up our entire house and move it somewhere else.
Of course there is a reason for us moving.
We need more space. The new house has two double bedrooms and one single (Squirts nursery)
It has a downstairs toilet and an en suite to our bedroom.
It has a huge back garden for M to run around in like crazy, and for Squirt to play in when he/she is bigger.
It is perfect for us.
Yet part of me doesnt want to leave our lovely little house.
I love it, it is home.
The new house wont be home for a while.
I know it will be one day and then I will love the new house too.
Part of the worrying has been down to not wanting to leave, and part of it has been worrying that something might not go to plan and we might not end up moving.
I think I just need somethng to worry about!
And I am so very glad to discover that none of my worrying has been directed at whether Squirt is ok or not.
I have had a few moments on the last few days where Ive actually 'remembered' that Im pregnant.
Ive been day dreaming, as I do alot, and suddenly realised that I am actually, really and truely pregnant, its strange!
Its like Im finally able to let go and let Squirt grow without feeling like I need to worry to protect him/her.
Its a good feeling!